Sunday, March 30, 2014

Happy Anniversary....

On Monday, Hubby and I will celebrate our 41st anniversary.  We have had good years, hard years, years that felt like days, only days.

We are together, partly because we love each other, partly because we are committed to each other, and partly because we are too bullheaded to give up on each other.

We have shared the joy of birthing two beautiful sons, the crushing blow of the one that didn't survive but a few months of the pregnancy.

We have survived the olympic task of raising two successful precious sons. Oh my.  We were almost always on the same page in raising them ... almost.

We have survived moves... so many different locations.  And with did it with the 'bloom where you are planted' philosophy.  Ok, bloom where you have been transplanted.

We have survived - our relationship has survived, while some days holding on by the most delicate of threads...spiderweb delicate.

There were days of such joy!  Times of such sadness.

We were able to care for they aged and then left us.

We were able to give shelter to children whose parents had discarded them.

We have survived ghosts from our pasts and near terminal illness and cancers.

We are married.  I'm sure the story is different for each couple, but the threads that bind are similar.  My parents were married 47 years before my dad lost my mom.  Steve's over 50 before his dad died. We had a wonderful longevity of heritage to model.  Were their relationships perfect,  oh my no.  But they were committed. And they worked out the issues as they arose.

This is how we live, as two people who knock heads now and then...and remember the love we have in our lives.

This is what I would like to say to our bishops as they say that somehow, if my son marries a partner, the act of that marriage will water down the sacrament for others.  That Sacrament, that commitment is part of how we survived the days when one or both of us was not 'acting very lovably.'

That Sacrament would help anyone who tries to live in a committed relationship.  It should not be denied simply because there are two brides or two grooms. 

Others honor our marriage, our commitment, because it is public, it was blessed, and it is easy to support.   I would suggest that all our children deserve the chance to have this blessing... and I wonder why anyone would suggest that two adults who love each other should have to hide that love from the world. 
We celebrate our anniversary in prayer for our children.  That someday our church fathers  understand that they model love in a way that is inspiring to us, that reminds us 'in good times and bad, in sickness and health' that we are all the same.  Our love helps us survive the events in our lives that cause us to reach for someone to hold onto.  And gives us that beloved relationship that models the love our Father has for us.   
I pray someday the world understands this should not just be a bond for those born with opposite gender attraction.  All God's Children, all born in His image, all born with a need for love.


Monday, February 17, 2014

Turn away the Gay Bill gets discussed Tuesday the 18th!

Some days I just love my home in Tennessee. We have vibrant cities, and beautiful rural landscapes...within minutes of each other. My hubby came from a conservative rural area, but is as open as a human can be.  We know that most folks in TN don't want to see anyone hurt...

but...there are days when those who represent us locally or nationally just embarrass the hell out of me.  This month has been one of those days! LOL

An idiot state Senator who panders to the right, the far right, the wingnut right...has proposed a bill that would allow ANY business to refuse to do business with 'the gays' on religious rights.
hmm, that would mean photographers and caterers for same gender weddings right?  geez, I think not, since you can't get same gender married in TN. Oh, he's doing this in case you can in the future.  arrrgggg.
But the coward put the bill out there, then took his name off it, as he began to hear feed back from constituents. The bill is still out there, with another sponsor, but it was the handywork of Kelsey from Germantown, a small burb to our east, and will be discussed in committee tomorrow.

I emailed both senators, and I've sent a copy of the letter below to the commercial appeal, our hometown rag.  Not sure it will be published, but here's my attempt to shame those two!

An Open letter to Senators Kelsey and Bell,

I know Kelsey, that you have taken your name off the so called 'turn away the gays' bill, (so it's up to you BELL) but I thought it was a fabulous idea- IF and ONLY IF, you add an amendment to make any establishment who plans to turn away gay couples put a 4'x4' SIGN outside their place of business.

I know this is supposed to be discussed tomorrow, so I hope I'm getting to you in time to make sure the amendment gets into place.  We don't want to embarrass anyone who might wander into an 'unfriendly' business, I'm sure that was NOT your intent, we just want to make sure that we leave the RIGHT to DISCRIMINATE for those 'christians' who like to do so.

It's about time we figure out who the folks are who don't want to do business with the gay community (and by extension their friends, families and coworkers!)  We can then figure out as Human Beings who we don't want to do business with.  And I believe that we show our belief system the way we spend our hard earned dollars.

I am a straight Catholic grandmother.... and I can tell you this, I would love to have a playbook that lists folks who think they are 'better' than others, and who would invoke Jesus in their discrimination.  You get those signs up, and I'll work on getting a list of them in my community, so we all know them by name!

Deb Word

Sunday, February 2, 2014

not quite abandoned the program...yet.

It has been months since I posted.  There is little to report on the homeless front.  We continue to meet, we continue to talk about the problem...Children still get kicked out, and because I have an inability to say no (and a current guest) I don't get to hear about the kids who need shelter.

MGLCC hired a fabulous person to be in charge of youth services.  She had experience working in Actual homeless shelters, and understands the system.  But alas, she has young children and the working hours just didn't work for her.  We have a new person, but I have not met her.

We have our terminal house guest...still here.  Not sure he will ever move out, not sure there will be another.  Suffering a bit from the overwhelming life I am leading right now, and advocacy issues seem to bubble up, fester awhile then lie dormant.  Like cancer, I don't see the issues near and dear to my heart getting resolved.

We were invited to present at a group event on Wednesday, Then uninvited.  We hear great things from one part of our church, then sucky things from another front.

Marriage here- none there.

Divorce may be the precedent setter for marriage??? 

This blog's only real purpose in the beginning was to document the journey as we began to solve the crisis of homeless lgbt youth in Memphis....
wow - what a naïve child I was 5 years ago.

uhm...I'm not actually depressed, although I wondered as I reread to proof this... But I'm not sure there is an attainable solution. 

Parents - as a catholic ministry that is our new target. Get them moved toward acceptance and we won't see kids on the street....Oh, and they say I can't use a firearm to hit our target.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Birthday...

One of the kids who stayed with us would have turned a year older today...

I met him at the center, when a neighbor and good friend brought him there.  His family situation was violently impossible and he was at that point homeless.  The neighbor had a good heart and had let him crash at her place a couple of times, but didn't feel that he could stay on a longer basis.  She had her sick mom in the house as well. chaos reigned!

This was a different situation for me.  The kid had a car, and a job.  He was working on getting together the last bit of money he needed to have a place for himself.  He was super neat, the clothes in his trunk were folded and sorted.  He was a nice kid to have around.  He shared his family situation and details of abuse with us.  Troubling stories.  He was trying to stay clean and sober.  He had been seeing a doc.  He was trying to put his life back together.

He left to move into his new space- excited and joy filled! 

We heard from him often the first month or two...then occasionally on facebook.  He was knitting and reached out for help with a project.  He wanted us to meet his new boyfriend... all the kinds of things that are normal after a kid stays with us.

and on a beautiful spring day this year, after being told he Had to go back into rehab...he drove his car as fast as he could-into a row of parked cars.  He lived a few hours. His brother told me the demons were just too much.

I sat as his birth family spoke of their wonderful boy in a sad little smelly funeral home on Summer.  I wanted to scream... if you had treated him like a wonderful boy we would not be here.

happy birthday son, rest in peace, and know that you are a wonderful boy....even if they couldn't see it.