Happy Thanksgiving one and all...

It is Turkey Day! Steve is in the kitchen, Chris on the computer, and I am posting as well. Shawn and family are with Carrie's parents, and we will see them later today. I will have the chance for lots of 'baby hugs.' Lots to be thankful for today. We are healthy. We are warm and well fed. We have family who love us, miss us when we are gone, and happily look forward to seeing us again. We will head to my sisters house in a few hours, where 20 + family (and adopted) family members will gather for a feast. More food on the table than we could eat in two meals. And at the end, we will pack up the leftovers, send the older relatives home with 'goodie bags' and head home for a quiet evening with the little ones.
There is a lot to be grateful for. I am counting my blessings.
And I am hurting for those who are alone, and hungry today. I know that I cannot solve the problems of the 'world.' Please Lord, remind me to keeping working on those problems.... one at a time.
Happy Turkey Day to all...

The pantry is full again, thank you Lord and Lindenwood!

God Bless that Unity Group!
In lieu of a gift exchange, one of my faith sharing groups, the Lindenwood Unity group stocked the pantry at MGLCC. We have had one ‘pantry shower’ before, provided by the Catholic Ministry potluck group. And a couple of us have donated to it as needed. The Lindenwood group came thru for us on a grand scale, they were so generous. There were canned meats, veggies, fruits, pasta. And treats, I heard ‘squeals’ of delight as the kids at the center helped us bring in the bags, and load food into the closet that serves as a pantry. (At one point we called it “the biscuits for Bobby closet.”)
It made me tear up slightly to see them getting that excited over packaged fruit. There have been VERY FEW times in my life, that if I wanted fruit, I couldn’t get it. They were so excited. One of the kids who was unloading had arrived on foot earlier in the week from a small town a few hours away by car. He has been here before, I guess tried to go home, and things didn’t work out. He is back staying at the fort. Along with food, we took some clothes in, that were earmarked for the homeless, and headed to Manna House. As I asked the guys if there was anything else they needed, this young man, smiled and showed off his ‘new pants’ from an earlier delivery. He gave me a thank you hug, and I noted the kid was ‘rail thin.’ Honestly, must be 6’ tall with a 28 inch waist. I see a kid like that and think, gosh a bit of the flu might be life ending for a kid who is this stressed physically and mentally. I regret that we were in a bit of a rush. I would love to visit with this young’un, and see if talking to mom might help. There was bit of time on Sunday when it looked like we might have him for a ‘house guest.’ But he has settled into the fort, and hopefully all will be well. Soon, maybe we can visit with him soon.

YES!!!! We've named the thing...

On the back burner as we have been providing emergency services for homeless lgbt youth, was naming the project. We wanted something that either said exactly what we were doing, or intend to do; or something that spoke to the actual need. The letters lgbtq are not very ‘usable’ in a logo…if you are trying to create a catchy acronym. You can shake ‘em up, stir ‘em around. And still … nothing. So the ‘name’ kettle simmered. Mentoring at risk youth: Mary; Sexual Minority at risk teens and youth: Smarty… You get the drift.
Earlier in the week Elokin suggested simply YES. Youth Emergency Services.
Bob, morphed that into YOUTH EMPOWERMENT SERVICES. YES!
Both work. We are providing emergency services, but hope that our efforts will empower these kids to live healthy productive lives.
YES! It answers all the questions we have… Can you help us, YES! Can you donate? YES!
Yes! It answers the kid’s questions as well. I need a job, can you help me? YES! I slept on the deck last night, can you help me? YES!
As trivial as it sounds, in the whole scheme of things, it was important to have a name as we go forward and market the program, and look for assistance. YES! We have a name. And we can turn the burner off, or put something else on to simmer. I’m hoping that next pot will be a ‘parent contact committee.’ I think someone needs to be visiting with these parents who can remind them that these babies they are tossing out, were a gift to them from the God who loves them. And His gifts should be ‘non-returnable.’ YES? YES!!!

Is it a full moon yet??

Greg and Michael cleaned out their closets this weekend... And called so that we could take stuff to Manna house for them. BUT they have such fabulous stuff. Dress clothes galore. Manna house offers clothing to the city's homeless. They ask for jeans, flannels, jackets, this time of the year. So, I emailed Will at the center and asked if any of our kids needed anything. He called me last night and Steve dropped off a huge load for them last night. We have two new kids who are sharing quarters at the 'fort' as the boys call it. They walked here from Clarksville, with nearly nothing.
They were checking out the clothes as Steve left last night. I'm sure we will see what other needs they have soon. We will collect what they can't use, and donate the 'sturdy' stuff to Manna, and Catholic Charities will get the rest. And Greg had a big smile on his face when I told him what I had done!

There's a Fortunate Families Board meeting tomorrow afternoon. I have spent probably 15 hours in the last 3 days prepping for it. I am the listening parent coordinator, so I track parents who have had contact, and keep data on those contacts. Spread sheet stuff. But this was the month to set up the spread sheet. 66 households. Information about location, contact info etc. Lots of data that needed to checked, and double checked. And hopefully I got it right. I have been working on this at the end of long days.

The Party for the Community Center Safe House project is underway. And because I am my mother's child, that means the den got painted, the curtains in 3 rooms washed, and sheers changed out. We used to laughingly say that she planned a party to get the house clean. hmmm.

If you read this and you are interested in coming, please email me.

I am headed to bed... I will be the teleconference host for the FF meeting tomorrow. Being awake could be considered a plus.

Oops here we go again.

Last night MPD officers were passing the MGLCC and noticed two guys 'standing near the flag pole, and something was on fire.' The two guys were trying to catch the rope on fire, and burn the rainbow flag that flies proudly over the center. They fought with police officers, and momentarily escaped. The officers later found and arrested one of the perps. So, three news stations later, there are interviews on the nightly news. At it seems that the hatred and stupidity are alive here in my home town.

While the mormons help get an anti discrimination ordinance passed in Salt lake (too little, too late if you ask me..) our bishops will be meeting to put the final touches on a marriage pastoral document that will say that lgbt relationships threaten marriage.

it's a odd world in which we live... very odd.

Quick updates on 'the kids'

Steve talked to one of our former house guests last week. The girls are fine. The little guy is wonderful. They do not have a car anymore, so the haven't been back to see us, because of how many busses would be involved. And that is ok. Their jobs are on the bus line, so they will be ok for a while. I am so happy about this. They needed a place to 'be' for a few weeks. And things are looking up for them. It's a good thing Martha.

And the young man that we worried about at the center. C has been inside and dry, staying inside the place he is working. (with permission) Lorna and George provided him with one of George's old jackets. I cracked up because, although it has a nice weatherproof dark 'outside' it had the most awful flowery lining. (I was a little worried, it might be rejected) BAD I tell ya, and Will told me Sunday night that C is wearing it- you guessed it - inside out. He is an artist, and can see the 'interesting' that I could not. He was very appreciative of the coat, and the socks in particular. He is working, so not hanging at the center as often. But Will says he is good.

The other little lambs... Will says all of our kids have jobs at the moment!!!! YEAH

So, things are good for the time being, and we have gotten permission to advertise in 5 church bulletins looking for folks willing to provide 'safe housing.' And Michelle and I are working hard to put together a fundraiser at my house in December. We will host a Christmas Party, and ask our guests to bring a check for the center. Memphis gets too cold to sleep outside, and our program wants to be able to house the youth in a hotel until background and drug checks come back. So that everyone is safe, however, money is involved. We will also be helping these young folks with money for documentation (license, birth certificate etc) things you don't take when you 'leave in a hurry.' There is also the need for medications occasionally. We are "parenting" if you will. And if you want to participate let me know! The more the merrier in all kinds of ways.

This Catholic Mom is going to ramble a bit this morning.. but stick with me, there's a point in the end

We went to a birthday party last night. A family friend turned 30. His wife and mother had lovingly planned a party in his honor. Wonderful family, friends, food, and music for dancing. His mom and I have been friends since we were in High School - a hundred years ago! His grandparents, Ninni and Grampa were there. Grampa can't hear very well, Ninny's mind is being taken by some Alzheimer's' type disease. Grampa doesn't dance. Ninny still does. With the joy of a child. So, as old ladies have the right to do, on several occasions my friend and I took her mom onto the dance floor. (she wore us out if you want to know the truth) She shared with me each time I escorted her back to the table, that she used to go to dance at a skating ring in England as a young adult. She could dance on skates. Because of her memory issues she shared this each time as though it was new information. And each time I let her, because she is 86 and how many more events will she be able to attend, and share what she remembers of her life. Grampa doesn't dance. Ever, she said. Ever he said. And yet, during a slow dance with my husband, I looked up, and Grampa and Ninny were together swaying on the dance floor. They have been married 64 years. They meet each others needs in every way they can. Grampa had seen Ninny dancing with the joy of a child off and on for 2 hours. He made the effort. He took care of her in just one of the many patient ways he does. This is what we all want for ourselves, for our children. To see them in lifelong relationship that is holy and wholesome and caring and loving. My friend and I have been married to our sweeties for a lifetime. 36 years for us, 33 for them. I see Nick and his wife, in love with each other, and totally devoted to making life good for the other. My friend and I have been through some tough times in our lives, she with breast cancer, I had a mental breakdown and almost lost my husband (to death) in the same year. And yet, when our hubbies hold us, and twirl us around the dance floor... life is good. We bring to the floor the good and the bad in our lives, and the touch of the other says it will all be ok, as long as we have each other.
I tried to share with a friend in Church Hierarchy this week that I see this as a need for all humans. That I think the creation story of man needing woman, is really a story of human needing human. And it was ""not good that Man should be alone." How on earth, could my church say that my child with same gender orientation would not have this same need for love. How can anyone say that our children do not have the same need for human touch, for emotional connection. For someone to love.
I talk to my kid frequently. I get a bit nervous if I don't hear from him every 4 or 5 days or so. He lives in south Ms. Too far for a lot of weekend trips. I worry that what I hear in his voice is that 'loneliness' that a person not in relationship must feel. He is the good Catholic boy. He knows the rules. And I worry that those rules are diminishing his capacity to love. To be loved. To be cherished. I think his 'single status' is destructive to his happiness. I love his dad. His brother loves his wife. I think at some point when my oldest finds someone to cherish....it will be good for his soul. I pray that he does.

The 'twitter' over last week is still going on. I am still praying about how to post... Will get back to you when I figure out what and how I want to tell you about it. I cannot do the 'you can say it in private, but not in public' stuff. So I will get back to you when I have it all figured out. (ha) Or when I figure out how I want to say it.

Where to go from here.

Well, we stepped in it tonight. Our slide show was fine. Our presentations energetic. We were sooooo excited that the conference had given us a language to say what we already feel in our hearts. BUT... we crossed that imaginary line. We used the language ... we spoke truth. But in doing so, we scared our directors. They gave a 'the views you just heard were not the views of the church' disclaimer, and did it in such a way, that it was a public spanking. I'm trying to figure out how I feel. Their complaint is that we didn't uphold church teaching. My counter is that I don't feel like I lied. True, my views don't always fit the church hierarchy. hmm... but my views do seem to reflect my conscience, which I am trying desperately to 'inform.' I think there were several things at work tonight. Sister mentioned that there are 'investigations' concerning women religious underway. Maybe that is her 'hot button' right now. Maybe she is afraid for her group. ... Maybe it is the truth that the Bishop himself doesn't want us to discuss changes in the church. I don't know. We did complete the presentation. We did get a chance to speak. We did convey the message that there are theologians out there who are working on ways to share our common experience. And then the BIG BUCKET OF COLD WATER came pouring over us. The few things that were said that were disparaging - I suggested folks read the draft of the bishops letter on marriage, and write to a bishop. Maybe mention that they aren't a threat to my marriage. Still think that it's a great idea. hmmm... Someone said 'ichy catechism' ... off the cuff. Probably not the worse thing to say.

Here's the problem. Half the group is not Catholic. ... they didn't understand the things that WE said... went right over their heads. They DID understand the cold water. And according to one conversation I heard... it was felt to be more sinister than it was meant. The person said- I thought we were welcome here. I guess it's more like we are tolerated.



So. Speak truth to power. hmmmm ( speak official teaching to power???) No I may never see my gay son get married in a Catholic Church. That was not what our program was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be that we heard a way to express what we know in our hearts. That the Holy Spirit moves us to share what we have learned. WE were soooo excited to share. And what they will remember is that .... they are tolerated, not welcomed. As God's children.



I am going to sign off now. Not sure who I will be crying for tonight. The program, the people, or the truth. Not sure if I can stay with the 'company policy' and ignore the truth. Not sure if I want to.

Potluck Presentations

the group who went to Las Vegas for the Calgm Conference will present our trip tonite at potluck. In an effort to get information to you, yet not print '50 hard copies' of 15 pages of documents, I am going to post them here.
The email address below is for the presentation made by gay Catholic priest, moral theologian James Alison. His prensentation gave us hope as well as information. He speaks of the 'roller coaster fun' of being Catholic, and the text can be found at this website.
http://www.jamesalison.co.uk/texts/eng59.html

I have written out my notes for Harry Knox's presentation, as well as Sister Ann Smolin. They are below.

Deb’s notes from the keynote speakers.
Sister Ann Smolin:
v We give each other what we have: At a time during the Berlin Wall, one group threw trash over at the other group. The second group responded by cutting and throwing all the blooming flowers over. If our hearts are full of garbage, we give garbage.
v We do not have to agree, only accept. Smile, make eye contact.
v Memory improves 200 to 700 percent after laughing.
v Acts of kindness boost our immune system.
v Witnessing acts of kindness does as well.
v Relax, wait for and look for surprises!
v If you get another piece of info…it’s OK to change your mind.
v Stay open for more information.
v Don’t feed yourself bad info…or bologna sandwiches.
v Choose to be happy.
v Fat People are harder to kidnap.
v What you look for – you find. Look for energy!
v MY FAVORITE: Get off the cross, we need the wood!

Four ways to bring healing.
Laughing, crying, yawning, hugging.




Harry Knox HRC
Member of the President’s Council on Faith Based and Neighborhood Initiatives, he is an ordained minister, although he was denied ordination based on gender orientation originally.
Shared that he had been called the ‘anti christ’ by conservative catholic groups.
Began with reading Acts 19 1-7
Ø Speak Truth to Power
Ø Cost of discipleship can be high.
Ø The Holy Spirit is at work in the need for Justice.
Ø Keep listening, it is harder to hear the Holy Spirit when others are screaming ‘God made me do it’
Ø Live in the power of ‘She who is’
Ø Shared with us stories of having no personal courage, when facing authority in legislature, but believes the Holy Spirit (describes as a large southern woman, with a big purse, and big hips) pushed him in the ribs, to say what he needed to say.
Ø 1. Spirit filled Movement is characterized by courage.
Ø 2.Progress is not linear, but spherical, consistent outreach is needed to change feelings, actions and voting.
Ø 3.People working in “Spirit filled work” offer Grace commensurate to Grace received.
Ø 4. Justice seeking people powered and led by the Spirit should give themselves Grace as well “when you foul up, and you will, give yourself the Grace to “fagetaboutit’
Ø Whether Church politics, or secular politics, change will be predicated on a massive change of heart. One at a time we can change hearts.

Lots of stuff going on...

I am working on my LPN stuff this morning, and for a few hours last night. I have taken on the job of Listening Parent Coordinator for Fortunate Families (hey it keeps me off ebay!!) I am working on setting up spread sheets, transferring data, and generally getting the system into a format that will take as little time possible each month for posting. I'm half way there! YEAH. This is also my month to handle the board meeting. Kinda scary for this newbie. But we are all friends, so I'm sure it will be fine. Just want to make sure that I have all the info ready to send out.

We went to early mass this morning, and I had a chance to talk to Fr. Val about running bulletin announcements for the 'host family' program for MGLCC. (you might notice I call it something different each time, we haven't settled on a name for the program yet) Anyway, Fr. V said he would be happy to run the notice, and visit with potential 'host families'. Also had the chance to visit with Vince Higgins. He was the MPD spokesman for years, and it now working in another part of city govt. He is going to let me pick his brain for mpd lgbt liasons etc. We need to make sure we keep both the family and the youth safe, and it would be wonderful to have an lgbt officer to talk to. Will let you know how that goes.

And I'm going to try to slide a nap in, before getting to work on the PowerPoint presentation for our 1st Tuesday potluck this week. We are going to present our experience at the CALGM conference.
If anyone is reading and wondering...what can I do. Do something. Write to your bishop, volunteer to provide something for the MGLCC pantry (in need of pasta, sauces, shelf stable chicken or tuna, 'helper' meals... and individual fruit servings.) I understand they feed at least one or two kids out of it daily. Or.. just plan if you are in Memphis to come to potluck. Your presence means you love these guys. And maybe they didn't feel that love from their families. Amazing how easy it is to be a surrogate mom. Hug someone today! It's good for both of you!